Your mind is racing, there’s another load of laundry that needs to be moved from the washer into the dryer (how long has that been in there?), one of your kids needs help in the bathroom, someone else spilled a cup of water on the floor, the toys have taken over the house, you can’t remember if you paid for soccer in the spring because sign ups for toddler activities occur 3 months in advance, did you send in the check for lunch bunch tomorrow, oh and your 3 year old does NOT like the meal you spent the last hour cooking. Sound familiar? EEK! I have been there….actually just this week! Parenthood and caregiving are INTENSE. The demands are non-stop and there can be a bone deep exhaustion that rest doesn’t even touch. There can be resentment, irritability, rage, tears, and complete overwhelm especially during moments of burnout. This post is here to validate your feelings and give you some ideas on where to start to get yourself back on track and feeling less overwhelmed.

As much as I like to just jump in and start frantically fixing things, an intentional and grounding pause is the way to start here. Settle your nervous system, tell your body it is safe, and take literally 5 minutes for yourself. For me, this is a cup of tea or listening to a guided meditation, or reading a few pages of a book. My inner critic is one mean girlie so I try to quiet her down and tell myself that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed as a parent and caregiver. Sometimes I literally say out loud to myself “I’m having a hard day” or “this is so hard.” If tears come, try to let them (hard one for me) so your body can move the emotions through.

Sometimes I light a warm candle made by my friend to bring some cozy to a chaotic afternoon.

Much to my dismay I have learned that there is literally no way to be a perfect parent. Despite my best efforts, I say and do the wrong thing on a daily basis. I do really try to repair with my kids and spouse but I fail at that at times as well. Keep going and trying your best.

On some really hard days, it can be hard to celebrate small wins. Make the bar for the win even smaller. Are your children fed and dressed? Win! Did you snuggle your preschooler on the couch for a few minutes? Win! Did you clean up the spilled drink without muttering a sarcastic or unkind comment? Win! Did you take 5 minutes for yourself today despite the chaos around you? Win!

Remind yourself that small wins add up. They help to quiet your inner critic and give you motivation to keep doing more and bigger small wins.

Here are some other ideas of small wins for you to add to your day

• Tell your family that once you sit down and start eating dinner you are not getting up until you are finished eating. That meals if they want a refill, a new utensil, etc they can ask another parent or wait
• Drink coffee (or morning drink of choice) without being on your phone
• No social media before lunch time (just try it!)
• Start a new book
• Write down 1 thing your kid(s) said this week that made you laugh in a journal
• Take a shower without asking for permission. “Hey, I’m going to shower. You’ve got the kids”
• Have a snack that you want to have. If your kids wants something else tell them they have to wait until you are done your snack
• Drink 2 sips of water every hour for the entire day. Set your phone alarm!
• Go to bed 1 hour earlier than normal twice this week

*Disclaimer here is that you may not have the cleanest house on the block, a gourmet dinner coming out of the oven, taking 3 kids to 78 different after school activities, or a social media presence that is noteworthy. This is a somethings gotta give situation. YOU are the priority here!!!

When life is overwhelming I find myself literally just trying to survive the day. Or to be totally honest I’m really trying to survive to bedtime. If I could make things easier for future me, that would really be a gift. At night especially I find myself leaning into doing tasks that will help the me of tomorrow. Here are some low energy and very simple ideas

• Pack backpacks and have them by the front door (or by where you leave the house)
• Prep coffee pot (thank you Auto Brew!)
• Prep breakfast the next morning (think overnight oats, chia seed pudding, hard boiled eggs)
• Empty sink and start dishwasher before bed
• Grab random clutter and put it in a giant basket or laundry basket to deal with at a higher energy time (even though this is giving future you a chore, you will not see the overwhelming clutter when you come down the next morning)
• Set your outfit out the night before (yep, just like grade school. It’s stupidly simple and it really helps)
• Prep the diaper bag the night before for essentials (diapers, wipes, extra underwear/pants/socks for new potty trainers, non-perishable snack for you and the little one)
• Prep your car if needed (make sure a stroller is in there, grocery bags, whatever you need for activities of tomorrow)

This one is really for me to keep reminding myself because I am QUEEN of overdoing it and trying to do too much. The goal of your small win is to do something that is JUST FOR YOU! It is not about taking care of another person or another task for the wellbeing of your family. Your wellbeing is important and you need to remind yourself that your needs MATTER. Prioritize a small win today or doing something to help future you. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself and do it all. You are doing enough already. And in case no one has told you this today, you are still an awesome parent if

• your house is messy
• you can’t find the matches to 50% of your kids socks
• you are not sure the last time you mopped the floors
• you ate pizza for dinner
• your kids are wearing non-aesthetically pleasing outfits
• you have normal and beautiful lines on your skin
• your body looks different than it used to
• your house does not look like a designer curated all of it
• your houseplants are hanging on for dear life
• you tried to make a sourdough loaf and it came out like a disk (not speaking from personal experience at all)
• you yelled at your kids today
• you cried by yourself in the bathroom because you need a break

This list could go on endlessly. We can truly be our own worst enemies and I am going to try and be kinder to myself as a parent. We are carrying so much already and we need to go lighter on the expectations we have for ourselves. Care about yourself first and remember that your needs are important. Rest is important!

Come back to this post anytime you need a reminder on how to center yourself when you are overwhelmed. I know I need to read these ideas myself often. Take things one day, one small win, and one gift to future you at a time. You don’t need to fix this all today. You are doing better than you think and I believe in you!

Meg